Scrolling through YouTube, I note the bizarre and mesmerising effect that Grizzlies have on the human psych – we are fascinated with bears, and the scarier the better.
You read comments – bears are ‘timid’, bears are ‘shy’.
Bears shy away from humans, they don’t like groups.
All a bear wants is to be left in peace to nibble on berries, catch fish, and contemplate the meaning of life.
Rather Zen, wouldn’t you say?
However, the fact is that bears see humans as food.
Bears stroll along the trails like Fonzie throwing shapes in Happy Days. They stalk hikers on the pathways
There are countless instances of group carnage, involving bears. Bears pull sleepers out of tents and devour them before dawn in front of others. They rob candy from Seven Elevens, and haul off cold cuts and beer into the woods.
Such easy pickings!
It must seem to Bruno that we humans are physically and psychologically inferior.
The bear’s innate cunning and superior strength makes for a formidable enemy, and yet in America’s national parks, the bear population is rising. The bear is protected by wildlife conservationists. Why? Because he’s an Apex predator and therefore must be preserved at all costs. It’s a bit like turkeys voting for Christmas.
The bear is protected by wildlife conservationists. Why?
Because he’s an Apex predator and therefore must be preserved at all costs.
It’s a bit like turkeys voting for Christmas.
Bear numbers are already off the charts, in my humble opinion!
(Check out this geologist in Alaska getting a lesson in bear behaviour)
The brown munching machine is a true headache for those living in close proximity. They huff and puff, at humans, and (I might add), that bear doesn’t pay tax!
As it’s their home, (so we’re informed), humans are required to seek the bear’s permission before hiking in the wilderness.
Poor Timothy thought he was a ‘protecting’ the Grizzly bear, and for over a decade Bruno tolerated his presence. Timothy was mistaken. The only possible way to bond with the furry beast is to steal him as a cub and raise him as your child. That way he may see you as family, but family or not, with one flick of his paw – he can finish you that bear, unintentionally, or on purpose.
Ask yourself this, would you dedicate your life to the care and attention of a giant ‘baby’, when you could wind up as chuck mince on his plate? What a foolish conceit! Try buddying up to a bear – you gotta have some kahones!
But for the most part, the Grizzlies of Alaska ignored nanny Tim and his strange henpecking ways. Then one day the bear known as ‘Machine’ – a mean old psychopath – ate Timmy as a snack. Tim wound up an enjoyable tidbit for the bear. Nothing more.
So, notwithstanding dear old Paddington’s gentlemanly demeanour, a real bear is not your friend. So treat him with a healthy dose of suspicion, served cold, and from a safe distance.
However, if you do find yourself up close and personal, then your behaviour needs to be utterly circumspect. Weapons are like feather dusters to this lethal animal. Even a double round from a 357 Magnum will barely put a dent in his hide. Your best bet is to play dumb, stay calm, and politely ask the bear for permission to go your way.
Hopefully it will not be hungry – or angry. Hopefully it will not have cubs, or fresh kill nearby. Hopefully it will not see you as a threat.
Bear spray is no panacea. It has been known to fail, and let’s face it, if that bear has his sights set, nothing will stop him. You may as well get down on your knees and pray.
Here’s the thing, sometimes lions kill their food prior to dining on it, but bears have no such niceties. That merciless gourmand truly enjoys his steak tartare. No mistake.
Once in a while, a bear might show some regard for a human, usually in return for a favour, like when a human rescues a cub, but Timothy was not that, Timothy was full of odd psychology, and for him the bear was more of a symbol than a fact. Unfortunately it took a fatal mauling for the truth to strike home.
That said, Timothy left a valuable record of how NOT to approach these fearsome creatures, and for that reason we should thank Tim and Amy for opening our ears to the reality of that Grizzly.
Tim and Amy are beyond harm. They can frolic to their heart’s content with the bears in spirit. But for those still on earth, remember that visiting the bear’s hangout could mean fighting tooth and claw for survival.
So, please, go forth in packs, and NEVER underestimate the power of our ‘sweet and cuddly’ wilderness companions.
Let the hunting season begin!
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